What I have come to realize recently is a huge realization on why the “Mercurial Dragon” in alchemy is man’s own mental prison. If you have not read my latest blog post on this I suggest you give it a read before or after reading this blog post. As of recently, I have come to some profound conclusions on the phenomenons of what our own mental prisons can look like, and identifying the origin of our own mental prisons. Something important I would like to discuss here is the dangers of being unaware of it’s origins, or simply not wanting to accept it for face value. And how the worlds of “Fantasy” or “Lunacy” can be a unhealthy coping mechanism in disguise. For example, it is like the infamous depiction in alchemy, of a man getting drunk off ‘wine’ or what’s termed ‘ecstasy’ or lunacy. Which essentially rules over the world of the unconscious, or realms of fantasy- This is why the feminine archetype in alchemy is called “Luna”. If we drink from this ecstasy we will become drunk off it, and quiet frankly, a fool in our madness. But to start this blog post off, i’d like to state a quote by Jung, in one of his great works called ‘Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self’ : “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
I think this is a very important thing I have come to realize through battling my own ‘Mental Prison’ and even seeing my own life become a direct result of those unresolved patterns and habits. It can become quite startling when you see things unfold in your life, in a direct manner through synchronicity or “prophecy”, and it can in turn indeed trick our foolish nature into thinking this so called turn of events, is fate. The humor in this though is, it is and isn’t. It is because its like the classic phrase, “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it”, and it isn’t because it is not in alignment with what we truly should of had. What Jung is stating here, is our own ‘madness’ can lead us all into what’s called “The fate of the unconscious” or rather what he terms it, ‘The Wyrd’. An old English term for fate, but in a way that emphasizes how the unconscious will manifest a reality of what we think is our true destiny, however, is not. It is a direct manifested reality from our traumas and self-entrapments. The world of fantasy, or “lunacy” is a common theme throughout alchemy and jungian thought. As I have stated in my last blog post, it is like a “homunculus” birthed from our own illusions and traumas. However, also, can in the end, be the very thing that guided you to your true destiny; and true understanding of oneself- if navigated successfully and truthfully. So let’s discuss further.
The ‘Daimon’ - “The inner force that can mislead or guide”
Jung was influenced by the idea that the diamon is an internal guiding force that can either lead to individuation or trap someone in illusion. If one remains unconscious of their daimon, it can become a form of false fate, leading them to self destructive patterns that feel predetermined but are actually a result of their own psyche leading them astray.
“The daimon of an individual is his fate, not in the sense of it being predetermined, but rather as determining potential within him” - Memories, dreams, reflections
What’s fascinating about this phenomenon is that essentially, if we remain trapped in our mental prisons, false beliefs, and addictions, and disguise it as our destiny- man will manifest his own circumstances and fate. Which can be a confusing, and rather tricky reality. This is why ‘Mercury’ in alchemy and mythology has been painted as a cunning thief, and a trickster. Mercury, like I have discussed, rules over the world of speech, and the mind. But also that very thing, can be a thief of time. And a thief of self realization, and better strategies to progress- instead of perpetually staying in a psychic state of ‘Death’. Rebirth- can essentially only happen with changing oneself. It is pure recognition, and accountability. Without this - you will stay in the mental prison. Sometimes, that mental prison is solely self imposed from traumas, but also sometimes those mental prisons can be imposed on or indulged in and encouraged - by dangerous individuals who lack self reflection all together- such as narcissists. Who perpetually leave you in states of confusion and never wishes to reflect on their part, because they enjoy the game of fantasy just as much as you do, but for their own gain. So here I want to discuss personally, my experience with my own illusions I have trapped myself in, and have fallen prey to. In hopes, that in turn I can warn others of not only the dangers of our self imposed traps, but also the traps of others. In the end, however, we are only responsible for ourselves getting out of those traps.
The dangers of Limerence, or fantasy
For most my life, I have struggled with loneliness, and abandonment. My traumas were severely unresolved, but the good news is, is they are finally being recognized fully. There is a classic phrase that I both love and hate, “Hero’s and villains all come from the same origin”. However true this may be, that both a good person with traumas, and a ‘villain’ with traumas come from the same place, doesn’t necessarily matter though. The core issue and resolution is- accountability and breaking the pattern. That is what identifies if you will be a hero or a villain of your own life and for others. Today’s blog post I am mainly going to use these core things as examples of mental prisons because it is what I've understood best from personal experience. For the longest time, the guise of what I used to call a “spiritual connection” was actually limerence all along. And I had been here a couple times before, attaching a “spiritual connection” to a broken individual I wished to fix or heal. Even though I was broken myself. I think many spiritual individuals can relate to this experience, as many of us tend to cling to a desired person and even at times feel heavily “connected’ through a spiritual means. We can connect to anyone, to be frank, but it should be more about who we connect to and if it is reciprocated in a healthy dynamic. At the end of the day, it can still be a spiritual connection; but it does not mean it is in any way a justification for fantasy or obsessive behaviors. Sometimes, it is only bound to make you look at your own horrifying reflection and theirs.
The concept of the “saviors complex” is very prominent here. Why do we gravitate towards fantasy, or people who reject us; or even worse- people who are doing things that harm us? This is because they were conditioned to tame a beast; and usually, their first beast was their parent. Young children who endure a lot of abandonment, and abuse will in turn chase to save others. I have both wanted to be saved, and “loved” and in other cases wanted to do that for another. Both these dynamics are extremely dangerous. One of two things happens, with the “predetermined fate”, you either attract a broken villain, or a broken hero. Both in the end are broken, and you yourself are broken as well. These scenarios can look either like, limerence- pining over a individual who has unrequited love for you, or leaves you in a state of limbo. Or you will resort to the broken savior who in turn can become obsessive, abusive, or chaotic. In the end, all you knew yourself was chaos or rejection- so in turn you will attract that chaos and rejection. This is the mental prison.
When we are discussing the realms of fantasy and delusion, I think it is important to note that this phenomenon can erupt and linger for long amounts of time for a multitude of reasons. For example, someone with abandonment wounds will use their fantasy world, as a coping mechanism of loneliness- and because- well, that fantasy is fulfilling the thing that is not actually happening in reality. The same way we use substances for escape or to ease the mind. Another example outside the realms of romance, is making connections to ‘Spiritual beings’. Whether that is a archangel, deity, or simply what we called as young children, ‘imaginary friends’. Now, that is not to say that these spiritual beings do not exist, I obviously am a mystic myself. However, I think that these things that are in the realms of the ‘unseen’ can become almost like imaginary friends who we cling to if we are so isolated from the outside world, and have not found real people, a safe place. Better yet, we cling to guidance solely because we never had a parent who guided us properly, etc. The sad reality is this. That sometimes we delve into the studies of the esoteric, because we are looking for a world that can be better. And it definitely can, but there is always the catch. The path causes one of two things; some sort of awakening or possible damage. I would like to also note that, this blog post is definitely not encouraging spirituality as a form of some kind of cure for trauma. In the best way I can put it, the esoteric path can lead us to identifying our problems, not curing them fully. Seeking professional guidance is always needed.
The ‘Puer Aeternus’
If you are someone like me, who has childhood trauma, then you have most likely heard or done what’s called, ‘Inner child healing’. I want to discuss the dangers of this as well if one does not come out of their inner child state and into a balance of both their inner child healing, and their integrated self as a adult. I am no psychologist, but this is what I have learned. For me personally, this was something I realized in the end. That staying in my inner child state, which is essentially the land of ‘bliss’-we can ignore the progression to move forward and adult in ways that can progress us forward in healthy manners. Such as, responsibilities and creating healthy lifestyles. But also, if one stays in their child like nature, they will desire a need for a parent, rather than a partner. Or subconsciously “rebel’ and have what is called “Peter Pan syndrome” (Puer Aeternus , The eternal ‘boy’), which can often times happen in individuals who had what’s called the ‘Devouring Mother", as Jung states it. But the bottom line is, all these things manifest from poor parenting. Broken individuals with these same core issues will in turn unconsciously “baby” or “parent” after their desired interests. Anyone who has these issues, I think attempt to go from gravitating to older individuals, to then sometimes younger individuals, which neither are a solution and is just perpetuating a problem. True partnership, is teamwork, not parenting. This is all what Jung calls ‘The Peur Aeternus’ (eternal child) archetype, where a person avoids real-world responsibilities by escaping into fantasy worlds, rebellion and constant “freedom”, or parenting dynamics. These dynamics are simply dangerous because it will almost always be one sided. One is giving the parenting, and the other is receiving. Almost always the ‘eternal child’ will not be able to give back. I know I have done this many times before, it is not a fun feeling realizing you are unable to give in the way you should give. I think it is also important to note, that both the ‘hero saviors’ and the so called, ‘villains’ who have a lack of care for anyones needs but their own, both experience this selfish dynamic- even the so called “saviors”. So it is a bit of a paradox but also quiet simple. One wishes to save, but subconsciously wishes to control and cling because of their unresolved issues, and the other wishes to be constantly babied and or admired. This is a lack of approval we may have never got as a young child from our parental figures. But both often times we all have the origin story of abandonment wounds and rejection wounds- as well as parental wounds. In the psychology world, it is a known fact that both narcissists and people with savior complexes, both have that same origin. But the important fact of the matter is, both parties, have a imbalance of their ‘puer aeternus’ and their mother and father archetype, the ‘Anima’ and ‘Animus’. Both the narcissist and the one with limerence, or diagnosis of things such as ‘Borderline personality’ have the same need to be seen and heard, and even admired. The only core difference is; one feels remorse and takes accountability and the other unfortunately most times, does not. And one tries to save themselves and the other person, where as the narcissist is fully self serving. But both come from the same origin story. It is an ugly mirror- to be quiet frank. If we wish to truly have a real hero’s story- it would look a lot like two individuals healing on their own, taking responsibility, and having capability to work as a team to in turn to become mothers and fathers to their own children. But here is the key; both wish for perfection; but perfection is an illusion and all a part of the escapism of fantasy. This holds so many back from true integration. It is only a matter of choosing reality, not fantasy. Reality in our minds, has been horrific, so it is a scary thing to choose reality. We often either avoid chaos or cling to it. But the key is, realizing it is better to one day be better, and attract better, and have a partnership that is teamwork and progress. Trust me, you won’t find it until you are healed and face this horror show of your life though. The best part of this though is we choose who we become, not only for ourselves but for our future children. No one wants children as parents. And no child wants to ever have to parent their parent. This is why this is so crucial to do the work. And not stay stuck in a fantasy of perfection that will simply never come. This is why accountability and growth will lead you closer to what you truly do want; it won’t be perfect, but at least it won’t be a shit show.
Another thing I think I noticed, was that before I did my inner child exploration, I was the young child chasing being older. And in my later years, too much in a rush to become a parent. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is what we are designed for. Children are the greatest gift we can all receive in life. However, this is a common phenomenon that happens to any child that wishes to become better than their parents, so that they can build the family they never got. It can rob you of your youth, but in turn, staying in your youth through a long extended amount of time- where it is overdue-can rob you of your adulthood and future parenthood.
What is Jung’s solution to escaping your mental prison?
Jung believed the first step towards escaping your own entrapment is this- realizing that your story you’ve been living is not truly yours, its a script written by past wounds, society, your parents, or the unconscious. To truly escape, we must in turn look at what is truly driving us. It is ironic because recently I felt God tell me, through all of this madness, “I am writing a new story”. So in turn I would like to hopefully encourage others to do the same. We are the choice of who we become. Jung has stated that by confronting the shadow, we stop seeing external ‘enemies’, saviors, or destined lovers and start seeing them as manifestations of our own unconscious patterns. We all in some form, mirror one another, as hard of a truth that is. In the end, no matter the scenario, if we truly want to escape these traps- we must choose our own story; a better one. We are only responsible for ourselves, not others. The false idea of responsibility for others, again, comes from wounded parenting paradigms, where you constantly felt responsible. Instead, take it upon yourself to do the work you need to do, so you can one day, be a better version of yourself, and attract that same likeness. Love is not saving some one, or pain. Love is sacrifice, but not self sacrifice. None of us are Jesus Christ. So with that being said, I know for myself and others, it’s easier said than done. But we are capable. All of us are. Responsibility, humility, and accountability are signs of strength. Not weaknesses. We are all victims in some way, and in turn can be survivors. But we are the choice to becoming that. We should not only survive, but escape. And rebirth.
“The hardest prison to escape, is our own Mind”