9/7/21 A short story of my experience with archangel azrael - The journey of death

The Angel of Death - Azrael 9/7/21

he appeared to me in a dream. and in this dream i was hit with death. My life flashing before my eyes in an instant; everything dying before me as if not only i was dying; but the universe was dying with me. I began to feel time looping at a rapid pace, seeing a time clock spinning backwards as all time and space was being sucked like a vacuum. and I fell into the ever nothingness. until there was all white… and I began to see circles upon circles.. the emblem of eternity. And just like that; I suddenly felt a snap. “kiss of death” were the words he softly whispered in my ear as his cold pale lips touched my cheek softly - and then I woke up. My eyes were wide and my breath was stiff, as I did not move I felt the thick air and the angel of death hovering over me as he did not leave until he made sure I was indeed back in my body. and as soon as I got up, he was gone.

The first thing i did was frantically call my mother and tell her about this dream and how i truly felt i died and got sucked back into reality. When I told her about the angel of death and what he had whispered in my ear just about ten minutes after that phone call she had found a statue in an old shop in Salem, Massachusetts. This statue was a skeleton and a woman kissing and was labeled in a box, ‘Kiss of death’. When she brought it back home I could not believe the not so coincidental occurrence. I had known - that this dream and statue was a gift from azrael.

I had always known about azrael, but never directly had been visited by him. However, I had done much research in the past on him and his archetypes. He is the angel of death. A powerful, high ranking angel. His name meaning helper of God; Azra meaning ‘help’ and el meaning lord or god. In Hebrew and islamic lore he is said to be the one in heaven who writes in the book of life; writing every new born’s name who enters the earthly realms, and erases their name as their time on earth comes to an end. and upon each persons death; azrael is the first angel you meet. It is said that many see a tunnel when they die; and azrael would be the one that stands at the end of that tunnel. Which brings me chills up my spine as i’m writing this because I had wondered why when I’d channel him I would begin to hear rain droplets and see him sitting under a tunnel. Azrael has shown me many of his forms and greater archetypes that I will discuss further in this blog post. But for now, to give a brief further description on azrael; he is one of the four major archangels in islam and does only what is commanded of him by god. he is responsible for taking / departing the soul from the dead body. The islamic book of the dead describes him with four faces, 4,ooo wings, and 70,000 feet tall. His whole body consists of eyes and tongues whose number corresponds to the number of men inhabiting the earth. Traditions in Asia depict him holding an apple from the tree of life at the nose of the person dying. this ritual is conducted at their death in the process of separating the soul from the physical body. Researching this yet again has now deeply connected the dots for me on many things I experienced, with having the great privilege to have worked with azrael. I must admit, there were many times in the last year and a half that I had felt azrael calling to me. His name would appear in many places, and I would see the signs and wonders but never mustered up any courage to peer into him; for I knew how powerful he was. death to me has always been a fear. it daunted me since I was a child. For me, anything to do with death scared me but allured me all at the same time. Its the great mystery; and the fate of all mankind. But considering his archetype of death, I was not exactly one to want to tip toe into that realm.

until he visited me again a month later with an important message he delivered to me. After the first time directly channeling azrael I was pleasantly surprised to discover just how wonderful he was and not as intimidating as I had initially thought. He had told me that the next time i’m out and about he would give me signs and wonders. A week goes by, and I was indeed seeing the signs and wonders from azrael. But more importantly he became this peculiar friend to me… something so nostalgic and sweet. He began to give me visions, and I would see him in a dark tunnel, with the sound of rain droplets as he would sit in a puddle. Or he would be standing in a dark alley, with a hooded drape and an old lantern in his hand, a lot like the hermit tarot card. Which he had told me was a significant card for me at this point in time. I usually pictured him as a skeleton, sometimes with butterflies flying through his empty bones. His accent was like that of a Tim Burton character, and his energy felt very dream like, like an Alice n wonderland movie. I remember he had told me the first time I channeled him, “For after all, this path is only but a dream. but a great one to say at best.” I at times would see him carrying old pocket watches or a hourglass bottle signifying time passing. But as this week went on I had no idea what I was in store for, for I was to be met with the very energy he embodies… death. now, this isn’t as dramatic as it appears, no I did not have a near death experience. But I did end up experiencing one ending after another, and something that needed to end, did. I learned the art of letting go, and setting things free. And I learned that there is beauty in the pain. I remember crying to azrael saying, “thank you, for there is beauty in the pain.” And for this… I think he knew that I was indeed ready for an even more life changing death experience. That I definitely was not prepared for. Two days later I ended up extremely ill, chills all over my body, cold sweats, heat strokes, insane headaches, lung and respiratory problems, and extreme fatigue and weakness in my body. This definitely threw me for a loop… and i’m not going to lie I thought for a second maybe I made a mistake connecting to the archetype of death. However, this experience was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. With each day, I began to know what it would feel like to be old… and frail. I can’t even describe to you how surreal it really felt. And this is when I knew, azrael was showing me what death felt like. This triggered something in me I never thought I’d experience; and that was to cherish each day that I had as if it may be my last. For it really did feel like I was dying, even though I knew rationally that I was not. I will never forget these days, where I was in pain and waking up in the middle of these nights, in cold sweats and shaking all over. Curled up in a ball I would began to try to take deep breaths, each shaking breath I felt my whole body under attack. Some of this turned into full blown panic attacks due to my fear of how my body was reacting, and in these vital moments I just remember how it felt. it felt as if I was letting the old me die spiritually, like I was experiencing a true death and rebirth. An alchemical process of the great work. Which I had pulled a tarot card that actually stated “The preparation for the great work” for when I asked why this was all happening to me. After that those words rung true in my heart as I felt myself dying to the old me, and purging like I never have before. I held myself in those moments of distress and panic, and I learned the true art of self healing, and alchemy of the body and spirit. I learned my own mother archetype. And to be my own mother. As I held myself and nurtured myself in a whole other way then I ever have before. I realized my body truly needed to hear loving words from me, and that every cell in my body listened to its whispers. I learned the art of being gentle with myself, and the art of being silent. I spent my days with no phone or noise, for I became sensitive to sound. I wanted to complete silence and peace… And for the first time in my life I spoke to myself gently. And realized I didn’t do it as much as I should have. I was always so hard on myself. I realized that my higher self was a soft, gentle, mature divine mother. And that she needed to be the main character in my life.

Those silent days I spent, taking long walks in silence to a park near my house. I could hear every sound, so crisp and clear. I would hear the children laughing and giggling in the distance. As I felt what it would be like to be something old and frail. It made me remember what it was like to be a child. And I was viewing the world like a child again, everything around me was springing with life. The trees rustled and the wind blowed as I walked around the park in that still silence. And I sat on a bench and began to think about azrael… and what I was feeling. This sense of nervousness surrounded me… but then I heard his voice in my head tell me, “Do not worry child… I have put you through this for a reason. You are accomplishing the great work…” his words echoed softly as my eyes got wide and I looked up. And this is when I saw the most apparent sign i’ve ever seen from azrael before. Suddenly a black butterfly is swirling around me and flying in circles. I couldn’t believe it. my eyes lit up, and I smiled wide in utter disbelief. and for the first time in a while I felt this surge of happiness and comfort. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. a black butterfly! it was exuding and radiating azrael’s energy. And in that moment I really did feel he had my back. That this absolutely was the most beautiful experience i’ve ever had with a being, let alone a archangel. I felt this all was a gift from God. And I knew it was not often many get the privilege to experience something as magical as this moment.

That night I had more visions, as azrael appeared to me again. I saw myself following a white rabbit. And azrael said to me, “Do you know what happened when you followed the white rabbit?” I laughed and let him continue to give me visions as I laid in bed closing my eyes. “You were an innocent fellow, following the white rabbit. and you fell down the rabbit hole, and as you fell you obtained keys. Each one shining bright like a star. Mesmerizing wasn’t it?” I began to tear up as I hear him speak to me and as I thought about the evolution of my journey and my past feeling it all at once. “your madness turned into great treasures to be awaited. Each key unlocking you to deep and masterful mysteries. All your sorrow and pain was not all for nothing. For your tears are ancient… Each droplet savored in a bottle, until the end of your course.” he says. I began to see myself falling down a black hole as keys are surrounding me as I fall… And my tears being collected into a small vial in azrael’s hand. I began to feel this bittersweet moment, as my tears rolled down my cheeks and I whispered to him, “Thank you”.

I had never expected an angel of death to be so sweet, and kind. But that is truly what he was, A true comfort in times of grief and pain. And a holder of the deepest mysterious of life and the other side. I began to realize that there is beauty in darkness, and pain. That I didn’t have to view all darkness as bleak. That sometimes the most beautiful flower, can be a dead shriveled rose, thats losing its color. That death itself can be beautiful, for it is life to be lived once again.

So after all of this, I found life. And that very morning when I was no longer ill, had purged everything. I opened my eyes… and felt my body… and it no longer felt sick. It was as if it vanished over night. And that I dreamt the entire thing. And when I got up I could actually feel the strength in my legs, and the life energy in my body. I rushed to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My face, full of life. My eyes, glistening with youth. I then took a cold shower and felt the cold water come down on my skin. I let out a breath and gasped, “I feel alive” I whispered under my breath. “I feel alive” I said again. I turn around and close my eyes as I was feel the pouring water. I could feel the very fiber of my being, and the blood rushing through my veins. This was the moment I knew, what it truly felt like… to be alive. And thats when that sweet epiphany hit me. “You must know death… to know what it feels like to truly be alive.” I say. I began to cry again and feel all the love I have for azrael and this entire journey. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. It was the truest, spiritual rebirth. And that day, was one of the happiest days of my life. I had never felt so alive and revitalized in my life. When I went outside, everything was teeming with life. Everything was bright. Everything was breathing. Everything was happy. And most importantly, I was happy. and I felt like a young girl… for the first time in my life. I allowed that little girl inside of me, to be happy, and free. Because azrael taught me the most valuable thing we all have to cherish, and heal, and come back to. And that is the inner child. It may be abandoned. It may not feel seen or heard. It may have been abused. But it’s not forgotten. And it is the most sacred part of all of us. And once it is awakened again, and healed, it will show you the kingdom.

And now I know why you must be like a child at the gates of heaven… you have to become that child again because this life is a dream and we must remember that and go back to when we were little and life was bright. And life was dancing all around us. And life was magical and dream like. Because that is the true state of being. That is utopia…

And so, if you’re thinking of working with Azrael, or he is calling to you. Just be prepared. And know he is not one to play… he is powerful. And he is a master archangel. He will throw you into madness… but he will transform you in ways you could never imagine. And in your sorrow, you’ll know the beauty of his somber solace,

yours truly,

Kae xx

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